Thank You

Assalamualaikum.

Before I was 12, before I found my first Malay novel, I only bought English novels, because my parents always give to me those kind of books. Probably one of the reasons why my BM is not so good.

But I don't blame them. No, not at all. In fact, I am grateful. I've been exposed to English since I was little. I've been reading English books, listening to English songs, watching English programmes on TV and also - I speak English to my kindergarten teachers and friends, as most of them are Chinese.

I finally entered primary school. I met new friends and they started to call me 'Nani' [before this I was called 'Hani'] and as years passed, I spoke less and less English. I can still write English, but speaking English nowadays would be so awkward.

However,

I still love to hear English songs.

I would still talk to myself in English.

I would still watch English programmes on TV.

Why?

Because it reminds me of my childhood.

Sometimes I just wish to go back in time. I want to meet myself as a child. Sometimes I feel like the little me is better than me in the present day.

But no.

You can't go back in the past.

All you can do is move on.

And I am grateful,

for the past that I had,

for all the lessons that I learnt,

for every single person that I met,

for those who still stay beside me whenever I need them,

and also for those who betrayed or left me when I needed them the most.

Everyone made an impact in my life. Big or small, it doesn't matter, because without them, I'd be a completely different person.

Sometimes I just have to look back for a moment, to remind me of who I was and who I am now.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am who I am now, because of you.

I cannot thank you enough.