A Walking Zombie

Assalamualaikummmmm!

Starting this week, we have this study group programme for the whole batch (juniors included) called 'Peer Coaching' where all the students are allocated into several groups and there'll be a leader for every group. (Hence the name Peer Coaching, get it?)

Anyway the level of tiredness just increased, tripled in fact. Peer Coaching ends at 5 or 6pm everyday compared to normal classes that usually end at 12 or 1pm (sometimes 4pm).

Our first Peer Coaching session started on Tuesday, and the subject was Accounting. I'm probably the lamest and most awkward leader ever existed in the universe, because I was so quiet and I didn't know what to say. *cries* I feel sorry for my friends. T___________T

Wednesday was the most tired day of all, most probably it involved two subjects for Peer Coaching - Economics and Statistics, AND the fact that it ended at 6pm.

The moment we reached home, most of us immediately fell asleep. Yes, we're THAT tired.

I don't usually sleep between Maghrib and Isyak, but this week I've done that twice. My plan was to study as usual (aceehhhhh as usual ke) and sleep early but I can't help but to sleep between those two times. *cries again*

Like the other day, I setted my alarm clock for another 15 minutes (kononnya nak study la after that *cough*), but I ended up waking an hour and 15 minutes later. HAHA. (Typical Hanani. Typical student.)

To be really honest, I feel like a walking zombie for this whole week.

Pack schedule, long classes, study groups, assignments, extra exercises, personal statements, recommendation letter, research for universities, studying for finals, studying for AS repeat papers (yes, there goes my allowance >.<) and studying for A2.

*takes a deep breath*

Oh yeah, and also my IELTS Speaking exam is on next Saturday and Sunday.

*takes a deeper breath*

All of that, plus the expectations from close relatives and teachers AND the pressure given by my parents.

*blows up*

Yesterday, I wanted to take a nap for 15 minutes (I don't know what's up with me and 15 minutes). After I lied on my bed for about less than three minutes, my phone rang and it was my mum. We talked for about half an hour I think, and the moment I hang up, my sleepiness was gone.

In a way, I felt fresh. I felt motivated to study. So I did, for three hours straight (not that straight, I did somehow end up scrolling Twitter when I was searching for answers LOL).

All I'm saying is, isn't it magical how you feel so tired and demotivated to study but all of those feelings disappear once you call your parents? All the stress, depression - gone (or at least reduced) in one single phone call.

Parents just have that kind of superpowers. They motivate us, keep our spirits up in any way they can.

But. That's the thing.

I'm scared.

I truly appreciate all the motivations given, but... *sigh*

Janganlah letak harapan tinggi sangat.

*cries even more*